Raising Men…

Being a mother of two boys has been a very interesting journey for me thus far.

Like any parent, my hopes and dreams are for them to be kind, honest and successful but, most of all to be confident and strong and live a life of integrity.

I always thought that I wanted them to live in a world where things like race, religious and social preferences would not affect or bother them at all.  I wanted them to grow up in a world where they are “colour blind”. But the truth is, and this I realised after attending a workshop,  that everyone does see colour and race and religion and sexual orientation and status and and…but it is how we deal with these things that are important.

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I want my boys growing up proud of who they are…strong black men.  I know that they have to work twice as hard and as smart to prove themselves at school, on the sports field, and in the world.  People are surprised when black boys are well mannered and articulate because they expect them to be wild, undisciplined, uncultured.  And when they excel, people are even more surprised. Because of all the gangsterism and crime in our communities, people are surprised that there is actually diligent and honest folk that can come out of our communities.

I guess what I am trying to say that I want my boys to be loving, honest kind and considerate but I want them to know that they should not consider themselves to be inferior to anyone purely based on the colour of their skin,  their social status or their beliefs. I guess I am scared that they will be like me as I always felt that I lacked something because of who I was and where I came from.

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I want them not to waste any opportunities that can turn them into the best human beings that they can possibly be.

Happy Tuesday!!

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Chipped xx

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Party Pooper

The weekend that past my son was invited to a party…awesome right!!

Well because I never do the drop-off or pick-ups..thanks to his gramps, I hardly get to meet the moms and on the odd occasions we did meet I never really felt ‘included’.

Saturday morning arrives and I am thinking  of a million reasons that I should NOT go to this event but, I know my son is looking forward to it and so I  suck it up and off we go.

We get there and the father of the birthday girl opens the door and in we go.  And then I stood there…. not knowing which way to go or where to sit etc etc.  Maxx eventually runs to his friends and there I still stood.  The host mommy is standing and chatting to her group of friends and does not even acknowledge that I am there.. no one shows me where to sit, offers or shows me where the snacks are etc etc.

And there I stood.  Eventually, I figured out where I can grab something to drink and then I had the awkward task of having to find a place to sit.  I then spot another mom that looks totally lost and the two of us sit and make small talk.  The party was only for 2 hours (which felt like 20 hours) but not once did the hostess check if we are ok, offered us something not even look in our direction.  As soon as the party was done I grabbed my son and headed for the door, the dad stops us and tells my son to go and get a ‘party/thank you pack, from the mother, who is still busy chatting to one of her friends.

M then walks up to her and thanks her for the lovely day (not for me  though) and then….and this is the moment when I almost lost my ‘doggy poop”

She hands M the box without looking at him and then gently pushes him towards the door….yes pushes him…  I nearly said something but then I remembered that my dad raised me to be a good Christian lady and I did not want to go to jail…orange really is not my colour.

 

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  • So ladies if you want to host a party with your child’s entire pre-school class, you can at least pretend that you are not doing it just to receive the maximum amount of gifts.
  • Welcome your guests
  • You can at least take 5 minutes to ensure that ALL of your guests are ok.
  • We realise that you cannot be everywhere all the time but at least show your guests where they can help themselves to some snack etc etc
  • And once the party is over, thank everyone for coming and walk with them to the door.

And that is my vent for the week.

Cheers to you!

xx Chipped

 

 

Have I disadvantaged my children by moving to the ‘Burbs’

 

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So we have been living in the burbs for just over 3 years now, this after having lived our entire life in the Cape Flats.

It was a very difficult and ‘expensive’ choice  but we had to do it as travelling to my new place of work is easier now and the fact that my son’s school is where I work so logistically it just seems easier.

Also with having my husband working away for half of the year it was a ‘security’ decision to move to a place a little more ‘safer’.  (oooh I will get back to that one)

But more and more I realise that now my kids miss out on all the things that my husband and I enjoyed in our childhood.

There are no ‘huiswinkels’ (house shops):  We had this and it taught us how to do math at an early age.  So if you had a R1,  you knew exactly that your could buy a 50c sucka (ice-lolly) and then get 5, 10c sweets.

They will never hear the Klopse (Cape Minstrels) practising in preparation for the new years carnival and they will miss out on the music as they March through the streets so that everyone can hear how good they are.

They will never enjoy the mixed scent of curry and vinegar a couple of days before Easter when every second house is prepping the pickled fish for Good Friday.

They will never  be excited to taste the sweet Ramadaan Treets that the muslim neighbours share during their holy month.

And while the area that I live in now has much less of a crime rate than where we used to stay, I am so scared that should something happen to me and I lie dead in my house and start decomposing, no one will think of calling the police because the aunty next door or across the road from me had not seen me for a while.  My current neighbours will just think that I am on some extended vacation…

I remember wanting to cry during our first Christmas and New Years Eve because I had not one neighbour (sober or intoxicated) knock on my door to come and wish me all of the best for the new year or a merry xmas.  There was no loud 1980’s festive season music playing, no Boney M, no Mariah Carey… nothing.

There are no tennis matches during Wimbledon and soccer matches when it is the world cup.  They are not building “waanchies” (go karts) and really there are just no kids for them to play with in our road.

They are not being taught to be streetwise.  Living in the flats you were taught at an early age to be cautious and steer clear of ‘unfavourable character’.

I don’t what if I have disadvantaged them or if this is the best thing that I could have done for them but, one thing is for sure…They are missing out on Sunday morning ‘koesisters’

Happy Reading

 

 

I would love to be a housewife/ stay at home mom..whatever you call it…

I have been thinking about this for such a long time.  I’ve always told myself that I would never be the barefoot and pregnant and staying at home typa gal but now that I have kids, and I work and my husband is away from home for half of the year, I have changed my mind.

I have just finished reading a blog POST  by Mom of Two Little Girls; Reasons I hate being a housewife. (Love your blog by the way).  In the post she lists all the things she hates doing as a SAHM  (Stay At Home Mom).  She is grateful to be in a situation to be able to spend time with her family but lists the chores that she hates most..It’s a super funny blog post.

As much as I was cracking with laughter at all her reasons, and agreeing with all of them, I was secretly wishing that I had all this extra time to do all those things..that now I have to do anyway after a long day at work.

Working at a school I had spent 3 weeks of the July holidays at home with my boys.  I loved having time to clean the house, cook decent meals for them , spend time with them and still find the time to catch up on my favourite series.  I felt in control of my household and even my husband was impressed when he returned from his work trip because not only was the house in a decent condition but, I was less stressed too. I want to plan meals and not just necessarily cook things that take the least amount of effort.

There is no way (unless I win the lotto) that I would be able to stay at home.  But I have put it out there and dreams do come true and prayers are answered.

Would you love to be a housewife/stay at home mom?

PS: Excuse the lack of pictures. I’m just too tired.

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CNP

Our Top 10 Favourite movies as a couple (no kids allowed)

Our Favourite movies

One of the things that my husband and I love doing when he is home is just relaxing and watching movies. He REALLY loves movies; I do too but end up falling asleep during the movies.  We do have a list of our favourite movies that we have watched together.  You will notice by some of the ‘Titles’ which are more my favourites and which are more his…but because marriage is all about compromise….these we do enjoy watching together…

And in no particular order (in my best ‘game show’ voice)

  1. Meet Joe Black
  2. Kill Bill Vol 1& 2
  3. Hero
  4. Devil’s Advocate
  5. The Matrix (Trilogy)
  1. Rocky (All of them)
  2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier
  3. The Dark Knight (Batman)
  4. My Best Friend’s Wedding
  5. The Wedding Ringer

It is also important that we watch movies as a couple.  It gives us time to snuggle and cuddle and act like teenagers.  Also, it gives us a break from all the kiddies movies that we have to watch…

What are your favourites?

Thick Leeyonce (Lesego Legobane)….I think I found my alter ego

Now this girl… I managed to stumble across her when I was browsing Instagram (I’ve only recently started using it).

And my word!!  This girl could give any skinny top model a run for her money.  She oozes confidence and bravery and style and has an awesome clothing brand called LeeBex that is geared for women of all shapes and sizes…but most of all, she makes the world take note of her.

Today’s Ode (well not a poem but definitely praise) goes to Lesego Legobane  aka Thick Leeyonce. Picture credit to her instagram account @ThickLeeyonce

Even though she is much more risqué than I would ever be, her confidence , to me, is her best sense of style. People give her a lot of flack because of the way she dresses but, she continues to do her own thing.

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Definitely,someone to keep an eye on!

Have a great weekend.

xx

 

Someone Please call (Nanny)911..or is that 10111

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WOW what a couple of days I have had.  Maxx has been testing my last nerve.  He does not talk, he screams and cries for everything.  I have tried time-out, naughty corner, talking to him on ‘his level’ and every other thing that is on the web and then some.  I give up and I surrender!

Then I read this post on Three Trolls’ blog and my first thought was…”Dya mean that it doesn’t get better???  But, more than anything, I loved the fact that she was being open and honest about the challenges that she faces being a parent.  It makes me feel like I am not the only feeling as if I am losing the parenting battle.

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So I have decided to ride this wave with Maxx and see how it pans out.  Hopefully one day I will figure out what to do to make it stop (that does not end in either suicide or homicide)

Cole has gone back to his ‘I do not want to eat anything’ phase and the struggle is real to try and plump him up. Then that big fat cow Murphy came to visit and brought her Law  along and just when I was getting him to eat again, he picked up a stomach bug…The poor thing looked like Michael Jackson’s in Thriller’s offspring but,luckily he is on the mend.

The last couple of weeks has been taxing on the parental front but for the last to days I have still managed to find my 30 minutes to myself and it has kept me sane.

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Just over 2 more weeks until the husband comes back, 2 more weeks until I can go to the toilet in peace and enjoy a nice long hot bath without having to worry about any war that is happening in my house.

Wish my luck!

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Fashion Friday_Thando Thabete

OOOh now are there any women out there who does not love fashion. Even though there are a lot of things that I could never afford, I love stealing ideas from other women..famous and not so famous and seeing how I can tweak it to suit my own style.

Today’s style crush is the lovely Thando Thabete.  I first discovered her when I was forced to watch Generations with my mom whenever she was in town.  I loved how here stylist put together her outfits on that show and found myself patiently waiting to see what she should wear on every episode.  The more I watched the more I fell in LURVE with her sense of style.

And then I recently started stalking her on Instagram, oh my, my heart did about 10 backflips…this lady is just amazing and I can learn so much from her and her confident fashion sense.  She is cool, sexy, chic, elegant and funky all rolled into one…

I was even more excited when I heard that she will be hosting the 2016 SAMAs tomorrow night…bring out the popcorn…I can’t wait to see what she will be wearing

Check her out on Instagram HERE

Here are some pics from her Instagram Account:

 

Have a great weekend lovelies!

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The (Modern Day)Proverbs 31 Woman

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I have been doing some soul searching and some research on becoming a better wife/mother and looking at Bible verses that could assist me with this. After reading a post by Lisa Preuett here and loving how she modernized the famous scripture.  I thought I would use her version to create one more specific to my life.

 

Are you familiar with the Proverbs 31 woman in the Bible? She is perfect, has the best husband and kids, her marriage is perfect and her home is always in a perfectly organised condition – you know, like the one on tv that protects her kids from germs and always feeds them healthy food, and rubs her husband’s back after a long hard day at work.  I long to be like her but I also have to be more realistic.  I hope that like me this will help you to strive to be more like her, but to also make you realise that in so many ways you can give her a run for her money.

“And in case you didn’t already know, this woman in Proverbs 31 was NOT a real woman! This passage of scripture is a portrayal of virtuous qualities to be found in a godly woman.” –  Lisa Preuett

Proverbs 31:10-31

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

A woman who truly seeks after God is rare in today’s world as mentioned by Lisa in her post and her net worth would definitely be listed in the Forbes magazine…

Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

He liked you, saw potential in you and knew that no one could run a household better than you.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Consider your husband in everything you do and never talk badly about him to anyone. No matter his faults and flaws.  So stop moaning about his socks on the floor, lack of romance etc etc  (Please note, if he abuses you or beats you, you must speak out – because a real man would never do that to his woman anyway)

She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

She purchases things for her home wisely and creates a warm atmosphere for her family. – Quoted directly from Lisa’s post

She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.

She drives to the shops and wholesalers to hunt bargains for her family.  She also orders low prices items from places like Takealotetc, and looks for the best deals.

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.

She gets up in the middle of the night to care for a sick toddler who just puked all over the bed #IDIDTHISJUSTTHEOTHERDAY. When the cellphone alarm goes off she still fixes breakfast for the rest of her brood, packs lunches and drives them to school. Servant girls?? Those would be her children who are assigned daily chores – in my case this is Cole my eldest, he really helps me a lot and I am slowly trying to train Maxx to help me too.

She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She thinks before she makes big purchases and finds ways to multiply the little that she has.

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

She strategically puts in a movie for her kids while she cleans the toilet, does a load of laundry, washes the dishes and irons the clothes. If there’s time left over she’ll quietly slip away to go to the bathroom for a few minutes of peace to herself. – Tweaked form Lisa’s version but definitely deserves an “AMEN”

She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

She works hard at the office and is working towards that promotion so that she can earn more, she also sleeps with one eye open, just to make sure that everyone is safe and in case she needs to jump up to rescue a baby that is having a nightmare or wants something to drink.

In her hands she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

If you remember the skills that were taught to you during your needlework lessons in the 90s then Big-Ups to you!!! But if she’s like most (or rather me), she frantically sews a button on her son’s only clean pair of pants 15 minutes before he heads out the door for school. Anything requiring more, she asks someone else (luckily my SIL is a seamstress).  She does look for easy DIY projects on Pinterest .

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

She supports local charities or soup kitchens and is always there to offer some sort of help to friends and family.

When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

She makes sure that he kids are dressed warmly in winter and also buys out of season sale clothing in advance for the next year…can we all say “Woolies Sale”!!

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

She looks around for deals at Mr Price Home or Sheet Street when the need arises to by new bedding. She shops for clothes anywhere that suits her family’s tight budget.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

Her husband walks into work feeling loved because he had a date with his wife last night. He brags on his wife to his buddies during his lunch meeting.  – Thanks Lisa, I am still working on this ‘Date Night’ thing.

She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

She seeks ideas on the web and makes these for her family (hoping that it won’t end in an epic fail).  Some ladies are brilliant and can actually make a living out of their creations.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

She may physically be exhausted but her inner strength comes from God. She can laugh at the days to come (and often laughs at herself) because her confidence and hope come from the Lord. – Once again directly quoted from LP’s post, but it is so true and I did not want to change that in any way.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

After many moments of humility, she graciously gains wisdom. Her time in prayer and God’s word overflows from her heart when she instructs her children. – OOOH CHILE, my tongue is my problem and I really have to learn to watch what I say, but I know that with practice I can do it.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

She makes sure the nappies don’t run out, keeps groceries stocked in the fridge, attempts to keep the never-ending laundry caught up and oversees homework when she’d rather collapse on the couch and take a much deserved nap, or watch an episode of The Fixer or KUWTK. – Sound’s familiar??? The story of my life, luckily I no longer have to buy nappies..whoop whoop

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

When her kids get up, they plead, ” Mommy…..can we have porridge please!” Her husband quickly kisses her while rushing out the door whispering, “I love you!”

Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.

Many women hold masters degrees and will walk into top corporate company rocking their LBs and business suits. But you are just as important,sporting your PJ’s with spit-up smeared on the front, rocking your little ones and reading them a story. And kudos to all the mom’s who work, look after kids and are still single parents too.  Women, in general, are amazing!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Although I do agree that feeding your soul and inner beauty if more important…I do believe that when a woman takes care of her outward appearance she automatically feels good and more confident.  And if you are like me, and you don’t wear lots of makeup – some lipgloss and mascara does wonders…

Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Her hard work will pay off in the end because she has loved deeply through thick and thin. No matter what others say, God knows and sees everything she does and loves her relentlessly. – AMEN to that

 

I hope that this inspires women, it definitely made me think about a lot of things.

Have a great day everyone!

xx

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